The 'C' Word

Posted by Laurence England

Chastity, that is. It's the new taboo.

Not terribly interesting yet still quite interesting piece in The Guardian by someone who for a year decided to go chaste. The comments are a bit on the harsh side. Click here for more. It appears in the 'Life and Style' section of their website. Bemusingly, the abortion debate always appears in the 'Life and Style' section of The Guardian website. I don't know. I understand abortion is an issue of 'Life', but quite what it has to do with 'Style' I have no idea. The main thrust, ahem, of the article appears to be that the lady concerned was fed up with getting plenty of sex but no love, so gave it up for a year to see what would happen. The main result appears to be that in her self she was happier. What is also interesting is the opposition she got from friends about her choice. It is almost as if people find people practising chastity, for whatever reason, very threatening.

August

'Increasingly, my vow has been prompting concern. "Nearly there. Thank heavens - I've been worried about you!" a girlfriend fretted the other day. Everyone agrees that I must be longing for it to be over, and in some ways I am. I have craved sex, but the longer I hold out, the more I want it only in the right circumstances. I almost wish I had longer to go. My vow has become less of a nun's habit than a child's security blanket. It's something to cling to - a reason to say no.

During the course of this year, I have become attuned to other needs: the longing for true intimacy, the desire for a connection capable of enduring across distance and time. I have also let myself go. I've left my legs unwaxed and I haven't bothered to shave my armpits, and beneath it all, my relationship to my body has subtly changed - it feels more my own. In a strange way, it also feels, well, sexier. Possibly for the first time ever, I've no use for the validation of a stranger's appraising gaze. These triumphs make me all the warier of my vow's imminent expiration.'