'Be Safe, Use Protection, Wear a Rosary'

Posted by Laurence England

Perplexed by continued soaring rates of teenage pregnancies, abortions and STIs, a new Government advertising scheme is to roll out next summer. The campaign, 'Be Safe: Wear a Rosary' is a stunning change in direction from the Government. The advertising campaign will feature a young couple getting hot under the collar. The controversial advert, which has received over 500 million complaints from atheists already, before it has even been aired, will feature a conversation from the young couple on the benefits of the Rosary.

The teenage boy and the teenage girl are watching a film when the couple begin kissing and hands start moving to places which could lead to impurity and sin. The teenage girl then says, "Did you bring protection?"

The teenage boy then says, "Oh no...I can't find it. Do you have one?"

The girl says, "Hang on, I'll have a dig around in my bedside drawer....Yes, I've got one. Shall we use a blue one or a white one?"

The boy says, "A white one. Let's do it on the floor in the bedroom."

The girl says, "Yes, lets do that."

The boy then says, "Ready? I believe in One God, the Father the Almighty, Maker of Heaven and Earth..."

A ladies voiceover then comes in as the ad fades to a picture of the Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary and whispers, "Be Safe, Use Protection, Wear a Rosary."